Friday, 8 February 2013

Unit3: From Script to Screen- OGR Part2


  1. OGR 10/02/2013

    Hey Anass,

    Your story is clean and lean now, but I want you to really think about telling this story in visual terms in the most dynamic way possible - something your storyboards suggests isn't happening yet. There is so much scope for creating something high subjective feeling, highly immersive, that all your mid-shot compositions feel as if they're working against creating a tale of night terrors. I'd suggest you need many more panels here to describe the moments when the matches create the flashbacks; for example a montage of closes-ups of fumbling fingers, matches flaring, his face, intercut with the tableaux of prisoners - jumping to close-ups of their faces and back again; there's no 'horror' expressed in your storyboard yet, no agitation. Just look again at the storyboards for the Psycho shower scene as a reminder of how montage can be used creatively. I'd even go as far as to say that your story is going to live and die by the effectiveness of its use of montage, so what I want you to do know, is to take one of the haunting scenes and really panel it out; I want you to consult the 'Setting Up Your Shots' pdf on myUCA/Story&Commission/Learning Materials and get some precision engineering in there in terms of shots. If you want to create a sense of panic and disorientation, you need more shots, more types of shots and some great composition and powerful use of shadow and light. You need to think in a much more dramatised way, Anass to truly bring this story to cinematic life; take a look at the Psycho shower scene and the final attack from The Birds for some ideas on energising the 'attacks' in your story:

  2. Your character design needs work, Anass - because really you're generating some rather generic designs at this point, and I think the secret to pushing this aspect along is too adopt a very bold, very stylised visual concept for your entire piece - so that your character design has some wriggle room. It does feel to me that you're creating a very 'German expressionism' style mood - with an emphasis on disorientation and monochrome and light and shadow (which is something I also think should permeate and influence your shots and their composition). I'm going to give you a few references to help you to stylise your whole world a bit more dramatically, which will hopefully give you the courage and flair to really design this story world you've created; so, in no particular order:

  3. oh - and it's time for a title, Anass - because a title will give your film an identity, and that identity can help you brand your Art Of, graphic design etc. Something evocative and simple; I was taking a quick look at the Jewish word for 'ghost' - Ovoth or Dyybuk - with Dyybuk meaning a lost soul with the power to exert control over others - could be a nice metaphor for a traitor too...

    So, in short, you need to think a little more cinematically about your story; look for opportunities to ensure your audience is really going through those hauntings too; that it is happening not simply to your character, but to us. Think about ways in which the camera and choice of shot can help us experience this. Also, I want to encourage you to towards a much more bold, much more stylised approach to the whole world of your story idea - including character design and set. I know this moves you towards 'red room' territory, but that's no bad thing given the mood and era of your story.

    Just as I'm typing - some other fine artists you might want to look at in terms of style:

    Otto Dix
    George Grosz